Sunday, July 24, 2011

तेरा जाना.....

Someone at an Open forum asked “does a person who initiates a break up go through same pains? Does that person ever think about the bond, the sharing and the time spent together?”

This is a very common and often asked question by a broken heart. If we are talking about any genuine relationship and not a kind of one our bollywood celebrities have, then my obvious reply would be "Yes…They do". Only difference is he/she suffers while in relationship and the other one after the break up.

The person who initiates a break up can have number of reasons for it. It may be a long time he/she feels a need to give a second thought for the relationship they are into. There can be a single reason or a combination of many, which irritates one. He/she might have taken a long time before reaching at conclusion that “It’s all over”. Thousands of reason one can list which are the foundation for a break up. However, it is very painful to reach at the verdict; time taken depends upon how deeply one is involved. It is a fight between the brain and the heart. We always see a tendency to prove how wrong the person was who arrived at a decision of break up.

For sure, one can notice few indications before the actual break up; like hesitation for spending time together, some mention of a third person often within your conversation, a often criticism that “you have changed a lot”, reduced phone calls/chats, touch becomes unwanted, one stops using whatever received as gift from him/her, forgetting his/her birthday is an deliberate step and so on…. Believe me its not that easy it’s a fight within yourself. Most of the time the preference is given for a compromise….we Indians are always taught that way …with some examples of few around you who have opted for it in their past. But time has changed. Compromise has not remained easy opt in today’s life especially when coping up with all tensions is no less than a war. In such a scenario if your relationship is one of the headache or discomfort zone, break up and get rid is the preferable act.

So the question remains “how to deal with such break up when it’s his/her decision and not yours?” Try to save the it with every possible way; however once you are convinced that you are unable to save it go for the most difficult task “Shift + Delete” the whole episode of your life. Lock it somewhere in your heart forever. This is something thousand times tougher. Time is the best medicine for this wound. Agony, pain remain until you realize what went wrong, or you find some else in your life.

It is a human tendency; you are careless as long as you know everything is at its place. All of a sudden after break up things which are no more belongs to you; become very much significant; suddenly you start respecting the relationship and you feel your counterpart do not value it same way. Which is not always a case. He/she might have struggled a lot before reaching at this decision, it is equally or more painful, but he/she has shown a strength to deal with it. So it’s wise stop criticizing him/her for the verdict and respect that equally painful end of the episode.

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